My role as helper is not to do things for the person I am trying to help, but to be things; not to try to control and change their actions, but through understanding and awareness to change my reactions. I will change my negatives to positives, fear to faith, contempt for what they do to understanding, and manipulation or over-protectiveness to release with love - not trying to make them fit a standard or image, but giving them an opportunity to pursue their own destiny, regardless of what their choice may be.
I will change my dominance to encouragement, panic to serenity, the inertia of despair to the energy of my own personal growth, and self-justification to self-understanding. Self pity blocks effective action. The more I indulge in it, the more I feel that the answer to my problem is a change in others and in society, not in myself. Thus, I become a hopeless case.
Exhaustion is the result when I use my energy in mulling over the past with regret or in trying to figure ways to escape a future that has yet to arrive. Projecting an image of the future and anxiously hovering over it for fear it will or it won't come true uses all of my energy and leaves me unable to live today. Yet living today is the only way to have a life.
I will have no thought for the future action of others, neither expecting them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations I am really trying to create. I will love and let be. All people are always changing. If I try to judge them, I do so only on what I think I know of them, failing to realize that there is much I do not know. I will give others credit for attempts at progress and for having had many victories which are unknown.
I, too, am always changing, and I can make that change a constructive one if I am willing. I can change myself. Others, I can only love.
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